hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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