its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
