Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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