Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
