Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
