My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
