At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
