seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
