Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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