I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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