i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
