Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize