I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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