last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
