I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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