Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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