What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My life is pants optional.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
