I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
