9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
