playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize