I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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