Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
