I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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