Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
