I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
