maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
