it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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