i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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