I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
