i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm both gender and math confused
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
