I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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