We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
