people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
