Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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