Taylor Swift is so right about you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize