i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just forgot I was standing up.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
