That's when you crack a 10am beer
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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