And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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