When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
