it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
