I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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