Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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