so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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