Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
