that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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