Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
