Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
