I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Randomize
