So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
