are you still at the devil's house?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
