I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
