I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
