I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
