next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
