I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
