allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
did you just send me my own nude
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
