I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize