Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
