Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
