im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
