I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude i'm inner monologue high
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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