Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize