Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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