I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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