i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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