I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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