you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
