they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
