I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
