One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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