I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
